Is it possible to tell lies and still be an honest person?
At first glance at the question, I was quick to respond that is not possible to tell lies and still be an honest person. The more I began to review the reading, the question seemed to turn complicated. When I think of someone who lies, I think of the out and out lies or those that seem to lie to cover up for their own mistakes. In this case, I despise those who lie. I always have felt it is better to be honesty and have everything out in the open and on the table. If you dont have honesty, what do you have?
As I pondered over the reading again, I paid close attention to the introduction and the section on white lies and omission. Omission is withholding information that may make the story appear differently than if the listener had all the information. Examples of this kind of lie is seen daily. I think some people may use this kind of lie unintentionally without realizing the consquence it may have on the situation. The majority of white lies are also presently without thinking sometimes. The perfect example is when someone asks you, "How are you?", any you reply "Fine". You may reply in that same manner even when you are not fine, it may be the most stressful day and you respond the same way.
There exists many forms of lies. I think that the unintentional ones are unconscience thought that come out as responses without putting the thought into it. I do believe that the intentional lies that has extensive thought and meditation behind it does not make a person honest. I think we must make a conscience effort to think every response through so that we are honest yet do not lie either.
Hi Mandy,
ReplyDeleteI agree that if one thinks of lies as out and out lies, then clearly it's not possible to lie and be honest. But if we agree with Ericsson that there are multiple ways to lie, then it's much harder to decide if a person is honest if she or he lies.
Like you state, lies of omission and white lies are commonplace. I was asked multiple times today "how are you?" and my response each time was "I'm fine, thanks. How are you?" Does that make me a liar? I didn't want to go into the details, so I omitted. Does that make me dishonest?
Your ending comment, "I think we must make a conscious effort to think every response through so that we are honest yet do not lie either" is insightful. Perhaps, more people need to become conscious of the ways they lie; if one wants to be honest, then one ought to be honest. Next time I'm asked "how are you?", I'll need to consider my response, and maybe I shouldn't ask people how they're doing, unless I really want to know.
Thanks for your insights.
Take care,
Lauren
Mandy,
ReplyDeleteYou're absolutely right. We do tend to lie on a regular basis by simply withholding information on how our day is really going. This kind of lie isn't malicious and I think that's why we don't think of ourselves as dishonest people when we do this. Let's be realistic, it's impossible for us not lie. We're simply not perfect and we're bound to withhold information or do other similar things. More than anything, I think our intentions determine the kind of person that we are.
If we seriously strive to be honest, that in itself is a great thing. On the other hand, if we premeditate on telling a lie because our intention is to benefit ourselves, then we can't say that we're honest people. We have to be realistic when it comes to lies. Eventually we're going to lie, but what matters is whether or not we deliberately choose to lie.
(: Hi Mandy.
ReplyDeleteI always reply with that I'm fine when someone asks me how I'm doing. But most of the time I'm really not fine. I'm either tired and sometimes just feeling not myself. The only reason I do it, is because I simply don't want to talk about it. Especially if I'm having a bad day I don't want to bring it up because thinking about it would probably make me cry.
I agree that having a thought out plan to lie, is not being an honest person. I believe there is a difference with intentionally lying versus a small alteration of the truth.
I had the same orginal answer that you did to this question about liars, but after reading I realized that what a liar is and isn't is more confusing then I had orginally thought.
ReplyDeleteI like how you mentioned, what I think is the most common lie, about when someone asks, "How are you?" I had never really thought about saying the automatic answer, "Fine," as a lie until I read your dialogue.
Mandy,
ReplyDeleteas much as you like to believe honesty is the best way, Sometimes being too honest can hurt as much as telling a lie. Either way a consequence will be faced. This is the reason why many of us don't know what is better for the situation, the lie?, or the truth? The good thing about truths is that you aren't holding any guilt about keeping a secret. The bad thing is, your guilty anyways, otherwise you wouldn't have to feel like you need to be honest about something. I just think no matter which path you take, your in a trap some how.